"Man 29 dies in spitting contest"

That's how they get ya...the headlines I mean. The article goes on to explain themselves by saying he did not literally die from expactorating, but he fell. He fell from a balcony. He fell from a balcony while having a spitting contest with his friend. Let me walk you through this, A 29 YEAR OLD MAN FELL FROM A BALCONY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SPIT FURTHER THAN HIS FRIEND. Seriously boys, just whip em' out next time and see whose is bigger. That would save time and lives. Actually boys, keep spitting. Those of you who partake in such displays of showmanship will eventually kill yourselves off and I will not have to worry about those doltish genes of yours being spread to unsuspecting girls who I know you are having unprotected sex with in Cancun or wherever the hell it is you are spending Memorial Day weekend.