Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Dear God, please don't...



The 11-year-old son of Will Smith stars as Dre Parker, a kid who’s got it all - until his mom’s new job means relocating to China!
After dealing with a bully, he learns kung fu from maintenance man Mr. Han (Chan) and stands up for himself once and for all. (justjared.com)


Please no. Please just no, no. OK. Fine, but you can't have Peter Cetera. 



RIP Luanne...


I hope Brittany Murphy is somewhere "rollin with the homies." In the meantime,
A shocking number of strong prescription meds were found on Brittany Murphy’s bedroom nightstand after her sudden Dec. 20 death, according to notes from an investigator with the Los Angeles coroner’s office.
…the medications included Topamax (anti-seizure meds also to prevent migraines), Methylprednisolone (anti-inflammatory), Fluoxetine (depression med), Klonopin (anxiety med), Carbamazepine (treats Diabetic symptoms and is also a bipolar med), Ativan (anxiety med), Vicoprofen (pain reliever), Propranolol (hypertension, used to prevent heart attacks), Biaxin (antibiotic), Hydrocodone (pain med). (wwtdd.com)



If Lindsay Lohan was to pass way on 5 years would any of us really be surprised? It would be sad, but not a shock.
Brittany Murphy was the cute chubby girl with the curly hair from Clueless. She emerged a few years later and I can't remember who said it, but it went something like this "It's amazing what a dye job and an eating disorder will do for your career."  She had issues a long time ago. It was very obvious.


Little lady, you were amazingly adorable in every silly, crazy part you played. I will enjoy you forever in Clueless and even more on King of the Hill as Luanne.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Marissa's


Dear Marissa Miller,
                I have to say if I looked in the mirror and saw that, I would smile too.

Monday, December 14, 2009

The bitches just keep coming out of the woodworks



“We dated in high school and he broke up with me through a letter I still have,” Dina tells RadarOnline.com. And noting the physical similarities she shares with his ex-model wife, Dina goes on to say, “It’s kind of an interesting parallel because people say I look a lot like his wife Elin. I’m a twin just like her, my father-in-law’s name is Earl, which was Tiger’s father’s name, and now my last name is Parr, which is a very golf related name!”
But it seems Dina doesn’t regret the end of the relationship with her first love. “I look at Elin and think, ‘That could of been me’,” she tells RadarOnline.com. “Thank God it’s not!” (radaronline.com)


Fine. Tiger is a whore. There are endless women coming forward to say they saw his penis. Whatever. Well now this psychopath he dated in high school is showing us the letter she still has from when he broke up with her . In high school!! She still has the letter! This woman is insane. " My last name is Parr, a very golf related name!" ""People say I look a lot like his wife Elin." "I look at her and I think, thank God it's not me!" I can just see her saying all this with a wild crazy look in her eyes holding the yellowed letter in her hands and sitting by her altar of Tiger.
This is one skank Elin needs to watch out for. 

Friday, December 4, 2009

Famous by association?



Tiger Woods’ mistress Jaimee Grubbs emailed naked photos of herself to an ex-boyfriend, the man told RadarOnline.comin an exclusive interview. Richard Palermo told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview: “Jaimee sent naked pictures to me. She has an iPhone so she just takes them and emails them to me.  She sent them to me roughly three months ago.” (radaronline.com)


So, this guy thinks he is famous because he fucked somebody that fucked somebody famous?
I am taken back that such a fine lady would send naked pictures of herself via email. Simply shocking!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tiger? Why? What Happened? Part 2 of 347



Tiger and Rachel traded text messages and e-mails on a regular basis and many were of a highly sexual nature, sources told RadarOnline.com exclusively.
She was scheduled to appear at a press conference Thursday with her attorney Gloria Allred but it was suddenly cancelled after a night ofphone calls between Uchitel’s team and Tiger’s reps, as RadarOnline.com was first to report.
Uchitel is hoping to turn her saved messages from Tiger into a fortune and one source told RadarOnline.com that she is negotiating a $1 million payday from Tiger’s team, which would ensure her silence. (radaronline.com)


Oh Tiger, what were you thinking? Look at that woman's lips! Of course she would not seal them at the chance of more collagen and expensive hair extensions. 
Tiger has no game obviously because he has no idea how to handle his bitches. Sending text messages? Leaving voice mails saying "Hey, it's Tiger..." What the hell was he thinking?
His wife is such a classy dame too. Not the typical "athletes wife". Demure, beautiful and loyal. Then he fucks around with Thing 1 and Thing 2.

There is something wrong



With Circus, her triumphant 2008 album and subsequent world tour, Britney reasserted herself as a pop music ringleader, firmly in control of the spectacle. The album is the star’s fifth to debut at No. 1 on the Billboard 200—making her the youngest woman to accomplish that feat. And the nearly yearlong tour, with its elaborate $50 million extravaganza featuring DSquared2 costumes (nine outfit changes a night, including Britney as a trapeze artist, a magician’s assistant, and, somewhat perplexingly, a policewoman), was among the highestgrossing concerttours in the United States last year, rivaling those of U2 and Bruce Springsteen. (celebitchy.com)


Doesn't anybody see what is clearly wrong with this picture? Literally and figuratively? This would not even make a Christmas card in the "real world" But what about Britney's world is real?
She was in a psychiatric ward for severe mental health issues. What do they do? Take her on tour! Release a new CD! Put the workhorse to work! She is like a robot. A robot with a mechanism that is supposed to self-destruct very, very soon.
Yes, the tour did well. Yes, she is functioning at basic human levels. Nobody really seems to care about her past the machine. There is also no interview in this magazine. We have not heard a peep out of her in over a year. I am pretty sure she would say "please help me!!"

Child abuse is not funny


Rolling Stones’ guitarist Ronnie Wood, 62 years old, was arrested last night on “suspicion of assault in connection with a domestic incident”. Basically, he beat up his 20-year-old girlfriend, Ekaterina Ivanova. (celebitchy.com)


Well, of course he did. I want to beat the shit out of every 20 year old too and I am nowhere near as old as he is. Snotty brat. Just look at her face.

Chris Brown. Again



On if he gets the severity of what happened.
Of course. 100%. I think what it is when people see me smiling and kind of nonchalantly giving answers… I’m human, really I’m like really hurting inside and… it really kind of is like devastating me.

I really feel that this guy cannot look at what he did clearly because he has never had to use his brain. Self loathing requires retrospection and he is clearly incapable of facing "what went down" as he likes to put it.
On if he still loves Rihanna
I have love for her.
I hate that term. That is a lame hip hop, ghetto version of love. "I have love for you." You are not Heavy D. These are serious questions. Take them seriously.


I like to put pictures of him with the crazy eyes. Really makes a statement. 

Monday, November 30, 2009

Did you see this shit?



The White House gate-crashing couple is looking to cash-in on their exploits by selling the first exclusive interview for a six-figure sum. Tareq and Michaele Salahi - who got up close and personal with President Barack Obama – have pulled out of a planned interview with CNN because they want to land a big pay check for their tell-all.
Representatives for the couple have approached network chiefs asking for hundreds of thousands of dollars for the low-down on how the pair foiled the Secret Service and breached White House security. Major networks have been encouraged to get their bids in to secure the interview about the incident that sent shockwaves though Washington D.C.
Although their names were not on the official list managed by the Secret Service, the Salahis apparently had no trouble gaining entrance to the dinner honoring Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. Michaele Salahai has been trying to land a spot on Bravo’s The Real Housewifes [sic] of D.C. with many people claiming the whole incident was just a huge publicity stunt by the couple. (celebitchy.com)


Ugh! This just chaffs my as!
A reality show? These people somehow passed the Secret Service and met Obama, how exactly? Well, we will tell you how on this big interview on CNN! 
Whose Side are you on?! Let's show how these two got to shake the President's hand and take picture with him. In memorizing their moves you too may be able to shake hands with Barack or shank him like a pig.
This just makes me sick. What is the point of having the mack daddy armored car when you let Fembot in?

Tiger? Why? What Happened?


There’s so much reporting and gossip about the whole Tiger Woods situation, it merits yet another post. To catch up: the Enquirer reported Tiger had an affair with Rachel Uchitel, a New York events planner/party girl/professional starf-cker. (celebitchy.com)
Supposedly the story goes Tiger got busted cheating in The Nordic Prom Queen. She loses it, he gets in his car and she breaks the back window with one of his won golf clubs. Isn't that ironic? The white chick got ghetto on the black guy with on one of his golf clubs. Come on, that's funny.
Then they tell the police "No, no she was saving me after I hit the fire hydrant." Really? I fell for it for about 20 minutes because of that picture I posted. 
So, this is the deal. That chick is a skank and I don't think Tiger is that dumb.
If this is true, I hope it was worth it.

Rihanna gives relationship advice



“If you don’t send your boyfriend naked pictures, then I feel bad for him.”
The 21-year-old singer has had a rough year, after being assaulted by former boyfriend Chris Brown in February. Brown, himself an R&B singer, was sentenced to five years’ probation for assaulting Rihanna in August. He has since apologised to fans for his actions.
The naked pictures of Rihanna appeared on the internet in May.
“I just felt like my whole privacy was taken before that and then, when that came out, I thought, ‘oh great, so now there’s nothing they don’t know about me and my private life’,” Rihanna told Hot 97. (celebitchy.com)


This would be so much more meaningful if the boyfriend she had sent the pictures to had not beaten the shit out of her two weeks before he released these "private' pictures to the media. And, she says she says her privacy was gone? Well yeah because a maniac had naked pictures of you!  You should be saving you pretty ass  for Playboy one day. They will pay. You are just giving your vagina away in pictures to this fool. By the way, the pictures did not seem to help with his temper.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Haters



In “The Twilight Saga: New Moon,” the boys preen way more than the girls. Robert Pattinson’s Edward has the stylish wardrobe, the eyeliner, the rouge, the lip gloss and the perfect hair, while Taylor Lautner’s Jake spends most of his time whipping off his shirt in the rain so his abs can sparkle. At the screening I attended, dozens of teen girls squealed multiple times at the sight of Pattinson walking in slow motion, Lautner flexing his pecs. The only thing missing was a cameo by the Jonas Brothers. In the meantime, Kristen Stewart’s Bella is now 18, but she wears no discernible makeup, dresses like a 12-year-old boy and has two moods: pouting and sullen. No wonder 14-year-old girls love these books and movies. The female lead isn’t threatening, and the boys are studly and always fighting over her. -Richard Roeper


This has to make you laugh. 
OK. So in your fantasy movie the male lead is old and balding and all the hot chicks love him because he is so hot and not because of his money?
How many movies have you seen where the main actress is much more attractive than her male counterpart? Transformers anyone? The Da Vinci Code? Anything with Nicolas Cage? These actors with hair plugs run around with actresses half their age and it is perfectly normal and encouraged. Everything I have heard about this movies seems to have all the male critics in an uproar. The books make us swoon. So does this damn movie. Get over it. You can have your fantasies where Megan Fox would actually love Shia Lebouf or where Sean Connery is banging Catherine Zeta Jones. Shut the fuck up and let me have my fantasy about naked werewolves. 
Just because you think women are not part of the demographic we are. Cater to us we will pay.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

New Moon? New World. Shutup...



The Twilight Saga: New Moon has had the third-biggest opening weekend in film history.
According to box office totals released Sunday, the vampire romance starring Rob Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart grossed a stellar $140.7 million during its first weekend in theaters, earning $72.7 million on its Friday opening day alone. (celebitchy.com)


God, I really am a disgusting human being. I am enjoying my Taylor Lautner crush way more than I should. He is only a child. A very sexy child. It's his fault. He keeps taking his clothes off and staring at me like that.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Dear Sweet Jenna

Jenna Jameson went on Oprah last week and she seems to have forgotten why we all love her. Yes she may be Queen of the Ho's, but she is still a ho. There's film. I've seen it, we have all seen it. There is no denying how you made your fortune. I don't care, I always liked Jenna. But, all of this fame and money is because of her vagina.



 “I wanted to be the number one porn star in the world, and I wanted to do it with dignity,” she says. “I wanted to change things because this industry was run by men.” She wanted to do it with dignity? I mean she had a lot of partners, but did she actually do dignity?


 “I really didn’t understand how women could do something so incredibly personal and not be serious about it and say: ‘Listen, I am not going to have sex with more than one man in a scene. I’m not going to do it in the back." Basically she never fucked a black guy or take it in the ass. Fantastic.


From the time ClubJenna launched in 2000 until she officially retired in 2008, Jenna says her only onscreen male sex partner was Jay Grdina, her ex-husband and fellow porn star.
“That’s a big misconception about me in the industry. They think, ‘Oh, she’s had thousands of partners. She’s a slut. She’s a whore,’” she says. “But in actuality, I had sex with my husband most of the time, and I think that that’s why my movies sell so well. You can see love.” You can see love? Talk about mental gymnastics in order to deny to yourself how you made your fortune and who you have been for almost 1/2 of your life in order to be able to look at yourself in the mirror.
I don't care how she made her money, but give credit where credit is due. Your vagina made you a millionare. It is on camera. On film. In different languages, as if that were necessary.

Do you recognize these men?


Neither do I.
Introducing The Bastardization of The Black Eyed Peas.
The pop group was signed to Interscope Records and released their debut Behind the Front in 1998. The album won the Peas (and their accompanying live band, the Bucky Jonson) critical acclaim. It featured the single "Joints & Jams", which was included on thesoundtrack of the Academy Award-nominated film BulworthBehind the Front featured guest appearances from Jurassic 5's Chali 2naDe La Soul, and Macy Gray.[1] Their second album,Bridging the Gap, was released in 2000; it featured the single "Request Line" featuring Macy Gray. These two releases are generally considered by critics as the best of the Peas' career, and some view their subsequent change of style as a tragedy. (wikipedia.com)


When I hear a song like "I Gotta Feeling", I can't take this seriously. I automatically think this is some crappy techno pop band of merry teenagers talking about having fun. Low and behold it is the Black Eyed Peas. This crappy piece of crap? This is what they come out with now? I figured shit like "Hey Mama" (which I really liked) and "Let's Get It Started" was their intro to the popular world of music. After the fame and money they would undoubtedly return to their roots because they had the opportunity to show the world what real music is  and could be. Then they spill this venomous spew onto us all.
I have been hearing this song for months and I had no idea who it was. I am so disappointed that this is what they choose to do after all their success. This has got to be a joke. There is no way that grown up musicians actually like that song. Now that people are listening, this is what they give us? If this is what their tastes are in their late 30's then their IQ's have certainly dropped. This makes me weep.
I always knew Fergie was evil but now I believe she is the devil.

Friday, November 20, 2009

New Rule


There could be another Michael Jackson tribute headed our way. Janet Jackson will kick off the 2009 American Music Awards on Nov. 22 with a “special opening medley.”  (ew.com)


New Rule: If the person died 6 months ago you are not allowed to do a tribute on your awards show. It is too bad your show landed in November and Michael died in June. BET got the good weekend, luckily. MTV did a good job too. Leave Michael alone. I love him just as much as anyone did, but that is enough.

Finally...


Yeah Kim, do that. Good idea. Finally someone gave her good career advice.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Why I love Megan Fox


Because she is the epitome of femininity, modesty and subtlety.
"When I sit down to talk to men's magazines, there's a certain character that I play," she told the NYT Magazine. "She's not fully fleshed out -- she doesn't have her own name -- but she shows up to do men's-magazine interviews."(dlisted.com)
That character was in full force during this photo shoot. She seems fleshed out alright.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Another Reason I Hate Miley Cyrus


Besides that Party In The USA crap...
Miley is Team FuckOffTwilight. 
She explained, "I've never seen it and nor will I ever. I don't believe in it. I don't like vampires. ... I don't like the wolf that pops out of the screen when I'm watching my TV at night. I don't like it. I don't want anything to do with it. I don't like the shirts. I don't like any of it." (dlisted.com)


" I don't like it when the wolf pops out of my TV at night" It scares me back into my clothes. " Yes this little skank sure is a gentle flower. She is just mad because Taylor Swift is funnier than her, prettier than her, much more talented than her and fucking Jacob. 
"I've never seen it, nor will I ever." Eloquently put by the same girl who claims she has never heard a Jay Z song, while she wears a purity ring and slow dances with her dad. 

Hamster Hotel




Tucked away down an unremarkable side-street near the centre of the western French city, the Villa Hamster offers guests the "unique" opportunity to leave their species at the door and live the life of a rodent.
Hamster hotel in Nantes, FranceLost in translation? ... Villa Hamster's human wheel. Photograph: Cedric Chasse
A compact space of 18m2 in a building dating back to the 1700s, the unusual rental home has been deliberately designed to evoke a hamster's cage. It boasts such authentic facilities as containers of organic grain, a water tube which guests can sip, and a double bed accessible only by a step ladder and a quick scramble on all fours. The pièce de résistance is a 2m-wide metal wheel in which both residents, if they wish, can take a turn side-by-side.
So where did the idea come from? Yann Falquerho, the 42-year-old scenographer says "We wanted to create a place that was a real gîte - a place where you could sleep and be comfortable - but also where you could have a real experience," he explained. "We wanted it to be eccentric and we decided that the funniest experience would be to become an animal.


Hmm, this is taking furries to a new level. For those of you who don't know what furries are I am not going to explain. Look it up you will be both horrified and amused. In the meantime, isn't the lil' hamster winking cute?? The furries would think he was really cute if you know what I mean? Gross...

NIcccceeee.....


Depp nudged aside Jackman to get the coveted endorsement from People magazine Wednesday. It's the 46-year-old actor's second time as "Sexiest Man Alive." He also won in 2003. (people.com)
Damn straight!!
They were contemplating having R Patts from Twilight but he just turned 22. Wise choice. I love Edward, but Johnny Depp is forever.ays Coyne: "Johnny Depp was someone who was sexy 10 years. He'll be sexy 10 years from now. He's someone who appeals to multiple generations of women."peals to multiple generations of women Coyne: "Johnny Depp was someone who was sexy 10 years. He'll be sexy 10 years from now. He's someone who appeals to multiple generations of women."ays Coyne: "Johnny Depp was someone who was sexy 10 years. He'll be sexy 10 years from now. He's someone who appeals to multiple generations of women."ays Coyne: "Johnny Depp was someone who was sexy 10 years. He'll be sexy 10 years from now. He's someone who appeals to multiple generations of women."

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Dear Anonymous,


You are too good to me, you're too nice and I thank you. Thank you for reading and commenting. I can honestly say the 14 followers I have are good friends that I force mercilessly weekly into reading my blog. They love me, so I imagine they feel compelled to do  so. The fact that there is someone like you out there that found my blog on their own is just delightful.
Secondly, who are you? Lastly, where are you? I am all a flutter trying to figure this out!  
If you do not want to come forward and become a "follower" I completely understand. In the meantime please continue the anonymous comments. Peppered in with the gossip I have a few short personal stories I have jotted down. Perhaps one day you will be touched enough to come forward. 

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sad little girl



In shocking phone conversations exclusively obtained by RadarOnline.comLindsay Lohan’s mom, Dina, is heard expressing her concern over her daughter’s self mutilation. And with good reason, as experts in the field tell RadarOnline.com that self harm is often just one factor of greater, underlying emotional issues.
(radaronline.com)

Really? Experts say cutting is a factor of greater underlying emotional issues? You don't say! I feel like every time I read a story about someone in Hollywood who is in deep trouble. Be it Nicolas Cage and his financial situation or Lindsay Lohan and the "spiral of disaster" she has been on since, since? Well since Mean Girls she has been pretty fucked up. Her parents are monsters. Both of them, not just her father. Is anyone surprised this little girl is inflicting harm upon her leathery looking skin? 
I am sad this happened to her. But, looking at Natalie Portman you know it doesn't have to. Sorry.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Amen...



 The girl in these pictures says this in her new book. These pictures were taken before she had the pageant people pay for her surgically enhanced breasts. Which she flaunted in a bikini in the Miss America pageant. This quote is after a video of her playing with herself was discovered. It's a miracle that someone could be so hypocritical. 


  "Unfortunately, pornography has become mainstreamed — it rushes at us through big screens, portable screens; soft-core porn is on mainstream TV cable stations, hard-core porn is just a mouse click away on the internet, and the envelope of what seems acceptable seems to get pushed farther and farther as more and more people are exposed to this material.
The result is that girls grow up in a culture where it is hard to have an innocent, healthy, normal view of themselves, how they should behave, how they should act, and how they should dress.”
Carrie then addresses the topless pics directly, and states, “Our bodies are temples of the Lord. We should earn respect and admiration for our hearts, not for showing skin to look sexy … I have since learned that your outer beauty can only get you so far in life.”
Amen. (tmz.com)


Did you get that? Amen. Makes me want to vomit. Just be slutty! That is why you got the boob job! 

Living in the past of big booties


Jennifer Lopez's private moments with her ex will remain a mystery -- at least for another day -- because a judge just granted the singer's request for a temporary restraining order to stop distribution of intimate home video footage.

The restraining order will remain in effect until tomorrow -- when a hearing will be held to determine if the order should be extended.

As we first reported, J.Lo filed a lawsuit against her ex-husband, 
Ojani Noa, over a tell-all movie about their marriage -- which allegedly includes footage of the singer "in a revealing lack of clothing, and in sexual situations, especially in the hotel room from [her and Noa's] honeymoon." (tmz.com)


Do you recognize that couple? Well, that is Jennifer Lopez before the glam squad attacked her and she became Jlo. You see that jerk off with the blue suit and the eyebrows that remind me of being in the Amazon? This guy has made a career out of the fact that he was once fucking and married to Jennifer Lopez. She has knocked out two husbands since then.
I think it is so sad that this guy wants the world to only know him as "that guy that has a video of Jennifer Lopez in a revealing lack of clothing."? Apparently he does. Has he done nothing of self worth since 1997? How is that sense of entitlement still alive after 12 years when all you did was temporarily satisfy a beautiful woman? Shouldn't that be reward enough?
Get over it!! Get a job!! Get some self respect! And get your eyebrows waxed you muppet.


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Hello Boys!

http://www.sofloradio.com/


http://www.sofloradio.com/



Do you find men confusing? Yeah me neither. That is why I love these guys. That is why I love this show and that is why you should listen to it.
Radio personalities are vanilla trying to seem like something special when they really are not. Some try to be deep while being as shallow as a kiddy pool, like Tom Joyner.
If they are not trying to be deep, they have the same "zany" crap. I heard Elvis Duran the other morning and one of their guys has his pants down with his legs over his head while they tried to get pinpong balls into his ass. I swear to God. They described it on the radio. Ruined my whole morning.
Or it is stale news, stupid poll questions, oh and traffic news that can't help you because you are already in the car on the street where the accident already happened. Thanks.




So if you want something refreshing, from guys who you would actually enjoy spending two hours of your life with take a listen to The Joe Castello Show on http://www.sofloradio.com/. You will be so glad you did. If you thought you knew what men really think about, talk about, laugh about, well you were wrong. Sort of. You only have to listen to them having White Russians a la' The Dude at 11am on Fridays (only Fridays don't get your panties in a bunch) to feel that you are drinking with friends like you always do on a Friday morning. Oh you don't? Well then listen to them. They will make you drunk with laughter.

This Mo$tha'Fu#%a' here...


Chris Brown thinks that the beating of women is a personal matter and should not be discussed when he does it. But, thinks it is wrong and thinks God is on his team. This is a direct quote.


"While I respect Rihanna's right to discuss the specific events of February 8. I maintain my position that all of the details should remain a private matter between us. I do appreciate her support and wish her the best. I am extremely sorry for what I did, and I accept accountability for my actions. At this point, I am taking the proper steps to learn about me and grow from my mistakes. I only hope that others in similar situations can learn from our experience as well. Abuse of any kind is always wrong. The rest I leave it to God." (dlisted.com)


It should remain a private matter between us? Basically "bitch keep quiet!" What are you going to do? Are you going to hit her? Oh yeah you already did that quite well. How about not giving your girlfriend black eyes, contusions on her forehead and making her mouth bleed so it is filled with blood? I am sure you are very sorry. Sorry your life is in tatters you monster. Fucking jerk.