Wednesday, March 25, 2009

This Sounds Like A Lie, But If You Cared About The Truth...

you would not read Star magazine.
In the April 6 issue of Star — on sale now! — we report that Angie is still furious over catching Brad with one of the family nannies and has kicked him out of their bedroom.
While the couple once caused a stir with their loud lovemaking at an African resort, now Angelina won’t let Brad near her at home. “Angie is still very angry over the nanny thing,” an insider tells Star. “Right now, the separate bedrooms arrangement seems to be the best thing for them. Brad doesn’t want to face her cold fury every night.”
Brad is so unhappy about sleeping solo that he’s even taken to “camping out” with the kids in sleeping bags inside little tents in their rooms. “He tells them it’s because Mommy’s working late again, but it’s really because she banned him from their bedroom,” the insider adds. (

Once again I ask, who are these insiders? Do they ask the kids where daddy is sleeping? To answer the question they probably are not sleeping in the same bed every night because instead of musical chairs, they are playing musical beds. 6 CHILDREN PEOPLE!!! They are time consuming little fuckers and the like their parents around at night. They are probably hiding in the kids little camp ground themselves just to get crackin' on number 7.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Oh This Bitch Needs To Die!

FAIRFIELD, Conn. - Police in Connecticut say a woman attempting to reconcile with her husband handcuffed herself to him as he slept and then bit him on his torso and arms.
Police say 37-year-old Helen Sun told them she wanted to have a conversation with husband Robert Drawbough without him leaving. Police say she changed the locks on their bedroom and handcuffed herself to Drawbough while he was sleeping Monday.
Drawbough used a cell phone to call police. Officers heard his screams when they arrived at the couple's Fairfield home. He was treated at a local hospital. (

You have to be kidding me? This lady chained herself to her man while he was sleeping so that he would not leave her side in the hopes that they could have an open and adult discussion? If you physically restrain my ass the conversation is over!! WTF lady? See this bitch is begging for a beat down, where is Chris Brown when you need him? Oh, that's where she got the idea? OK, names perfect sense then.

He Aughta' Have His Head Examined.....No really

Vick’s behavior seems to fit the American Psychiatric Association profile for anti-social personality disorder (APD). People with APD are commonly referred to as “psychopaths”. They are usually male, often charming, prone to lying and manipulation, and incapable of genuine remorse. They can also take pleasure in inflicting cruelty.
Before the NFL even considers the possibility of allowing Vick back into the League, where he will be in a position to influence many fans, including countless children, PETA wants the League to require him to undergo a brain scan, coupled with a structured, standardized test (e.g, the Psychopathy Checklist, approved by the American Psychiatric Association). If Vick emerges from these examinations without evidence of psychopathy, this may mean that he has the capacity to express true remorse. If he is a psychopath, the chances of recidivism are great and remorse is virtually impossible.” (

Charming, prone to lying and manipulation? That sounds familiar.... somebody found my journals from 1996.
Anyhoo, ok fine have it your way PETA. I find what Vicky did vile and disgusting as well but if that is the case half the wahoo's in your little cult has to have their brain scanned as well. Anyone who does not like chicken wings ain't right in my book.

Fez Hits On Rihanna...not literally like the other idiot

If Rihanna wants to make her fella feel Browned off, she’s going the right way about it. She was seen getting “pretty cosy” with Wilmer Valderrama at the Geisha House in Hollywood last Wednesday. Wilmer, star of That 70s Show, hosts weekly karaoke nights there. We hear he made a beeline for 21-year-old Rihanna when she walked in.
Our spy says: “Rihanna looked so pretty and Wilmer could hardly take his eyes off her.
“They were chatting and laughing for ages. They looked pretty cosy and relaxed in each other’s company. Wilmer was all charm and even had a bottle of champagne for Rihanna.” (

That's right Wilmer, get her while she's down. Once her self esteem is back up there is no way you would have a chance. I will say this though, Handy Manny? A brilliant premise for a children's show. He has a a talking toolbox and the screwdriver's name is Turner. Come on that is kinda funny.

Monday, March 23, 2009


The name of Ciara's new single with Justin Timberlake is called Love, Sex and Magic.
Justin Timberlake's last cd was called Future, Sex, Love, Sound.
Just noting the similarities...
Oh and one of the lyrics says "I'm gonna make you believe in love and sex and magic." Well I believe in the magic and sex part....the love thing I may need a little more convincing. Please get off of Justin for about 7 seconds. Justin! Justin....get your hands off her ass, stop pulling her pants down! You see? This is why I don't believe in love.

More Silly Jennifer Aniston BS

“John says Jennifer weighs herself every morning, pumps herself up on coffee and then runs three of four miles on the treadmill…
“She also does yoga or Pilates for, like, four hours a day. It’s unreal!…” (

So? She weighs herself every morning? Gasp?! I know a lot of people who do that....and plenty who should if you get what I'm sayin'. She drinks coffee and runs? It's not like she has a day job or 14 kids that she can't actually take the time to do four hours of yoga a day of she feels like it? She is a 40 year old actress competing with actresses in their 20's. Which some by the way, look like they are 40 because they don't take care of themselves. (ahem Lindsey)
I'm about to get on Youtube and do a "LEAVE JENNIFER ALONE!" Video, like that little blonde boy with all the eyemakeup that was crying about Britney. Who gives a shit?

Catholic's Are Mad....Again!

Tom Hanks has been busy finishing up the sequel to The Da Vinci Code and may be facing part two of a showdown with the Vatican. The organization, which railed against the first film, may be readying itself to be up at arms against the newest one Angels & Demons.
On Friday, the Vatican’s official newspaper Awenwire ran a story saying the Church “cannot approve” of the film. Another Italian daily La Stampa, echoed the idea saying the Vatican would soon call for a boycott. (

Wow, what a surprise! The Vatican has their panties all in a bunch about a movie that dares to question the Catholic Church. Have they not learned by now that they renouncing something makes it even more delectable because people just love to sin? Sex, condoms, homosexuality.....hated it! While we are having unprotected sex and nominating movies like Milk for the Oscar. Oh and when they boycotted The Da Vinci Code? It made $760 million at the box office. It sucked, but the Church hated it therefore I had to pay for the overpriced ticket just to prove a point.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Nicole Richie Gives Beauty Advice

Earlier today, the 27-year-old expectant mother launched her official website. She wrote about a new method of keeping her hair straight. Nic shared, “A good friend turned me on to a new hair straightening method called the Brazilian blow dry and I’m completely inspired to share it with you!”(

This would be so much more helpful and heartfelt if she was not wearing a wig in the interview. Also, this bitch can afford to get her hair blow dried in Brazil every day if she felt like it. Unrealistic beauty advice from the former drug addict bulimic does not console this gal. Twit.

Yeah, That Is What Everyone Is In A Huff About

The octomom has this to say about herself:
Suleman also feels she's being discriminated against for being a single mother. "It's going to take a long time to prove not only to the world, but to myself, that I can be a very good mother."

She thinks that she is being discriminated against for being a single mother? Is she crazy? Well, yeah she is but that is not what people are upset about. She is an irresponsible moron that impregnated herself with enough fetuses that would equal small classroom, therefore making herself and her children a burden of the government, state and citizens, that just so happens to be a single mother. A single mother with 14 children. I still can't wrap my head around this one. There are three shows on the Discovery Channel about these kind of families, big families. Table For Twelve, Kate Plus Eight, some shit like that. I go to Chuck E' Cheese and I lose my mind over all the unruly children. I get nervous at children's birthday parties because I can just see the accidents that can happen in my head and I have to turn away. Luckily I can do that, I am not a mother and I am allowed that luxury. But, watching all of those kids and knowing you are responsible for every boo boo, every diaper change, college tuition.
Forget it, I'm having a cocktail....

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Rolling Stone Is Officially A Terrible Magazine

Last month they had Taylor Swift on the cover. The previous month it was the Jonas Brothers. This month it has the easily replaceable girls from the show Gossip Girls simultaneously licking a double scoop ice cream cone. The brunette which I know is supposed to be the new Rachel Bilson has her mouth wide open and white gook all over her tongue and it is not sexy at all, it looks disgusting. I am sure the pervs that took this picture thought it was adorable because this is what the girls said:
"They didn’t tell us anything about the concept," Blake Lively says. "We didn’t know we'd have any props, but we saw this big fun table — like a kid's birthday party. Um, some of it was a little mature for a kid's birthday party. Some of the ... inflatable items. But it's all been a surprise; it's been really fun." (

What happened Rolling Stone? Have you lost your edge/mind? Ever since you had the skanky version of Xtina Aguilera posing naked with an electric guitar you have sucked. Why would Christina Aguilera ever pose with and electric guitar? I don't know why I am bringing it up, I just always thought it was a stupid picture.

So Sad...

Natasha Richardson, who fell during a skiing lesson at a Quebec resort, has passed away after suffering severe brain trauma. She left the lesson laughing off her injury, but later complained of a headache and was rushed to the hospital, where her injury caused her to lose brain function. Her family chose to take her off of life support at 1:30 pm on Wednesday, and she passed away a few hours later. She was 45 years old. The family has released this statement:
“Liam Neeson, his sons, and the entire family are shocked and devastated by the tragic death of their beloved Natasha. They are profoundly grateful for the support, love and prayers of everyone, and ask for privacy during this very difficult time.” (

I really have nothing to add to that, except that it is absolutely heartbreaking and sad. I have crushed on Liam Neeson since the movie Satisfaction and to know he had to make this difficult decision. Blessings Qui Gon...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Again, Nobody Cares

They wowed Hollywood with a high-profile Oscar date, posing arm-in-arm for photographs in what was largely seen as their official coming out as a couple after a year of off-and-on dating. Then Jennifer Aniston headed to Europe to promote Marley & Me and John Mayer stayed in L.A. to work on his music. And just days after Aniston returned, they were a couple no more, sources confirm to PEOPLE. “They had some disagreements and decided to not continue to see each other,” says one source. “Jen is moving on with her life like she always does. She seems happy.” (

blah, blah blah.....oh who gives a rat's ass? I can't really bring myself to care if Jen is happy anymore. I am sure she really is just fine over breaking up with that puss boy John Mayer. Doesn't he seem kinda pussy'ish? I don't know something in the eyes, all uncertain and awkward unless he is has guitar in hand. But now that she is into the young boys, I say go for Efron or one of the Jonas Brothers. That would be very entertaining.

The Pretty People Are Angry...Scary

The very "talented" (hot) male model Tyson Beckford has this to say about celebrities stealing the magazine covers from their rightful owners, the vapid model.

NEW YORK (AP) -- He's crossed over from modeling to acting, but Tyson Beckford says he wishes celebrities wouldn't jump into the business that made him famous.
Beckford, host of Bravo's "Make Me a Supermodel," says that when celebs do product ads or grace the cover of fashion magazines, they take jobs away from models.
The 38-year-old says it takes "a lot of tweaking and airbrushing to get the same from a celebrity that you would get from a model."
He also says fashion is cyclical, and he believes celeb magazine covers will one day go out of style.

The reason I highlighted that portion of what he said is, well read it and you realize how stupid that sounds. Hollywood has always been made of "the beautiful people" and now even more so the majority of actors have to look like models in order to get any work. What about all the models that have become actors like Cameron Diaz and the very adorable Rodrigo Santoro? Besides, the cover usually comes with some sort of interview and the last thing you want to do is hear a model speak. I mean I find eating disorders, drug addiction and the overall exhaustion of just having to pose while looking pretty for the picture as fascinating as the next gal, but I would much rather hear about the exquisite Jessica Alba's (child model btw) daughter any day.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Taylor Swift. Is It Possible To Hate Someone You Don't Know?

I think it is, when they say shit like this:
On fairy tales being a big inspiration: “I have always been fascinated with fairy tales, and the idea that Prince Charming is just one castle away. And you’re gonna run across a field and meet each other in the middle, and have an amazing, perfect movie kiss. And it’s gonna be happily ever after.” (

In her defense, she is only 19, absolutely lovely and has the prettiest curly hair ever. But, grow up kid. Pretty soon you are be going from castle to castle kissing frog after frog looking for your Prince and you will be as skanky as 16 year old Miley Curus.

AIG Stands for Aware I'm Gross

WASHINGTON - From the White House to Capitol Hill, outrage continues to grow over insurance giant AIG's executives receiving $165 million in bonuses after taking billions in federal aid.President Barack Obama called the company reckless and greedy, Congressional Democrats threatened to tax the bonuses into oblivion.
Republican lawmaker Chuck Grassley from Iowa even suggested that AIG leaders should take a Japanese approach toward accepting responsibility for the collapse by resigning or killing themselves. (

The Way of the Samurai? For these swine? No, far too noble. Risigning? Pish posh! I'm thinking workcamps.

The Pope Gives Sex Advice

Pope Benedict said the Roman Catholic Church was at the forefront of the battle against AIDS.
"You can't resolve it with the distribution of condoms," the pope told reporters aboard the Alitalia plane heading to Yaounde. "On the contrary, it increases the problem."
The pope said a responsible and moral attitude toward sex would help fight the disease. (

You know what I find helpful? Advice about sex from a man that has never had sex before! Has Bristol Palin's baby making taught you nothing? Abstinence does not work, on any continent! What is a moral attitude and responsible attitude towards sex if it does not include condoms? Oh purity rings! That's right! Give those out! That should really help.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Nobody Cares Anymore

A kiss is still a kiss: ABC had been hyping the "Desperate Housewives" same-sex kiss for weeks now, but viewers knew it wasn't going to turn out to be anything. And it didn't. When art teacher Jessie (Swoosie Kurtz) misunderstands Susan's intentions and kisses her, Susan spills the story of the smooch to the other Wisteria Lane ladies. They want to know if it was a casual or a deeper kiss, and to demonstrate the difference, Gaby plants one (really two) on Susan. That's it. End of plot device, ratings attempt, or whatever you want to call it. (

Does this move people anymore? Two women kissing on television? We have seen this one too many times due to ratings. If Ally McBeal, Rachel Ross, and now Gaby (insert Hispanic last name here) and Susan (insert generic Caucasian name here)...I don't watch that show ok? I just see it as kind of annoying and experimental. That whole "I kissed a girl and I liked it, tee hee!" thing is just so ugh already. If you are not willing to take it further (eat pussy) you're not bisexual, you are not a lesbian. You are bored, drunk, looking for attention or all 3.

How Does This Happen?

Twilight star, Robert Pattinson, is having a rough time in New York. The actor was overheard telling a guy, “I can’t get laid [in N.Y.C.]” at Nur Khan’s Rosebar on Saturday night. The friend consoled him as best he could saying “A blind person with a British accent could get tail.” (

I can't handle these stories anymore. What could it possibly be that this beauty of a boy (yes boy) can't get laid or has problem with women? He seems to have that " I am going to mess up my hair and smoke cigarettes and look dirty thing going for him." I mean it worked out well for Johnny Depp and he never had a problem with the ladies. I can give you a list of women that would give anything from just a nibble....
I don't get it. Maybe because they love Edward and not him? Most guys I know would totally use that angle. Maybe because he is so beautiful he has absolutely no game?

E's New Show!

Just when you thought E!'s television shows were high quality programming, Keeping Up With The Kardashian's, Girls' Next Door was enough to keep you engaged for all of 37 seconds they bring you a new show called, I swear to God, "Hot Girls In Scary Places."
WTF? I saw a bit of this monstrosity this week and they basically threw a bunch of cheerleaders into a haunted house and had them run around and scream in their underwear while the sound guys made thunder noises with aluminum and banged on the doors. Well done E!

A Bodyguard? Good Idea Rihanna!

Maybe she should have thougt about this earlier:

The battered pop star made an impromptu trip to the Big Apple over the weekend to have some meetings about impending projects: one of which is a proposed remake of 1992’s Whitney Houston/Kevin Costner flick, “The Bodyguard.” Rihanna would be taking on Whitney’s role in the updated version, which an insider says would be a “young and sexy take” on the favorite film. “GI Joe” hottie Channing Tatum’s name has been bandied about to take on Costner’s role.

Why would anyone want to do a remake of "The Bodyguard"? That movie was truly awful. But, if they want to remake the wooden acting of Kevin Costner I guess you could not pick someone better than Channing Tatum. He is gorgeous, but very monotone. Like Costner! Rihanna on the other hand ain't no Whitney, well her real life is pretty close to it, but I can't imagine Riri belting out "AND I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I!!!!!" You know what song I am talking about. Just awful. It made absolutely no sense in the context of that movie, either. Now, the original song, when Dolly Parton sang it to Burt Reynolds in "The Best Little Whore House In Texas" that made perfect sense. If you like movies about whores I highly suggest a viewing?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Fellow Geeks Peep This

Yes, yes the latest preview for The Terminator is wicked. Yet, the premise fells eerily like another favorite sci fi splendor of mine. Those of you that watch the new Battlestar Galactica will see what I mean, with regards to the "skinjobs" as they are so belovedly referred to on one of the greatest shows ever written.
For those of you that know take a looky loo and let me know what you think. For those of you that are not wearing pocket protectors at the moment and simply want to watch the preview, go ahead it looks amazing. Finally for those of you that want to enjoy the deliciousness that is Christian Bale doing what he does best, yelling.....just watch.

Chris Brown Again....

After saying some not so nice things about a not so nice guy, Usher retracted his recent statements about Chris Brown. People are now saying:

“Usher was basically forced to issue a retraction,” an insider tells us. “After all of his comments came out, Usher got a call from Chris, who said ‘I’m going to see you b—es’ — meaning ‘I will eventually see you out, and this is going to be a problem.’”
But Brown’s beef wasn’t just with Usher. “Chris (r.) got tough with everyone present in that video,” our source says. “He wanted silence from all parties involved.”(

"I'm going to see you bitches."? Isn't he getting help for his anger management? Here I was thinking he only hit girls. But, no apparently he's a real man and wants silence from all parties involved, including "bitches" like Usher.
Even Nick Cannon spoke up and hasn't retracted his comments he made while sitting on Mariah's lap.

To Rihanna, I know she is standing by her man and all that. But damn! Couldn't she have put up some type of a fight? Hit him with the high heels I know she was wearing? Go for the trachea? Something...

Friday, March 6, 2009

Silly Young People....

Hayden Panettiere suits up for flight as aviator Amelia Earhart atop a 1939 Lockheed UC-40A Electra Junior airplane.
The 19-year-old Heroes actress said of Amelia, “She proved that anything is possible. If you want to fly a plane, fly a plane…. No one can tell you no.” (

Let me tell you how that story ends sweety.....
it doesn't. She never returned from her last flight. Disappeared, literally into thin air. Not her plane, not her body, nada. Now I am not saying you should not fly that plane, you should. Just reminding you this particular female pilots' story? Not the happiest ending. One of the greatest unsolved mysteries of all time? Absolutely! But, not a happy ending.

Official LAPD Report On Chris Brown and Rihanna

I will give you the gist of it, if you want the very gory details you can read them here:

Basically, she read a text from a girl so he pulled over and tried to shove her out of the car but she was wearing a seat belt. This would be the first time I would have to say seat belts don't save lives she would have been better off by the side of the road. The fight escalated to the point that he pushed her head into the passenger side window and was punching her with his right hand while driving with his left hand. This guy has obviously done this before, I can barely drive and text at the same time.
His pictures at his court date this morning he looks all sad. He is scum and one day he will get what he deserves. An NWA comes to mind, it goes something like "when we see your ass when gonna cut your hair off and fuck you with a broomstick.....think about it. Punk motha fucka." It' s a sweet lil' song and he will be singing that tune.
She has chosen to stand by her man like so many battered women have done in the past. Her situation seems so strange to be because she is not tied to him by anything more than emotion. Not money, not marriage, not children. Unfortunately she is probably as ashamed as he is

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Please Hide The Pink Dolphin (if you can)

Pinky the pink dolphin - Pinky was first discovered by a charter boat on Lake Calcasieu in Louisiana in 2007. What some are saying is the world's first pink Bottlenose dolphin has been spotted again in the same area. They are saying it is an albino dolphin and it has pink eyes. Not like the infection, the color pink.

At first I said "OMG! A pink dolphin! Isn't that just the cuuuutest thing??!!!" Then I thought crap, why is it pink? How is he/she going to blend in? What did it eat? Are these waters infested? Do the other dolphins not let them join in their dolphin games? Now I am sad.

At This Point, It Has To Be A Joke

You know how Joaquin Pheonix is acting all crazy and beardy? I think Kanye's bravado has to be an act. An over extended act that none of us finds funny

Kanye West’s “greatest pain in life” is not being able to watch himself perform because he is “God’s vessel”.
The ‘Stronger’ rapper believes he has been chosen to have such superior musical ability and his only regret is being unable to see himself on stage.
He said: “God chose me. He made a path for me. I am God’s vessel.
“But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”


This from a man whose mother died last year during an elective surgery.
I can't even watch myself sing into a shampoo bottle in the mirror because I get embarassed for myself. I mean he has plenty of video to watch right? Is it that he wants to watch it through someone else's eyes, the greatness that is Kanye? Like I said, this has got to be a joke.