Thursday, August 28, 2008

Mariah She's on Fiah....

My favorite blonde bimbos are getting into trouble today. I don't know who the evil genius is that created this video but if there is a God, we will be friends one day.
I don't even have to add anything to it.

I Hate To Pick On Her Again, But Dang...

Jessica Simpson is on the cover of People Magazine this week talking about herself again. About life and love and losing....again!
On finding her true love: “I just told him today, ‘You’re the love of my life.’ I don’t really ever say that to anybody.”
On changing her cell phone number and e-mail address to cut off any potential communication from her exes: “I don’t want anybody that’s been in my life [before] in my life anymore. I don’t even want them to have any way of contacting me.”
On her relationship with John Mayer, which began in 2006 and fizzled out last summer: “I had to regain self-esteem and self-value.” (

"You're the love of my life. I don't really say that to anybody." Um, yeah because you're not suppsed to say that to anyone....except the love of your life. If you went around saying that to let's say your brother in law that would be weird.

"I don't want anybody that's been in my life before in my life anymore." Again, do you mean those former loves of your life or family members because they were in your life before as well? BTW, I'm pretty sure I could find Jessica Simpson if I really wanted to. She lives somewhere in between of a pilates class and a rib all times. I hang out there a lot too actually. See you tomorrow Jes!

Daddy Yankee

My mother informed me yesterday that Daddy Yankee is supporting John McCain in his bid for the presidency. To which I replied "who is Daddy Yankee?" So I did some research and I found out that he is that reggaeton guy who sings that song Gasolina. I don't like that music, I know what it is because the played it ad nauseum on the radio. I wear black nailpolish in a non-ironic way, my mother doesn't know me at all basically.
So armed with this information I tell my mother. "You mean the Gasolina guy is voting for McCain?! Consider this card carrying Democrat's heart officially converted!" What a positive step in the McCain campaign to win the minds of young people....having Daddy Yankee on your side.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Poor Diddy

He said: “Gas prices are too ****** ******* high. As you know, I do own my own jet and I have been having flying back and forth to LA pursuing my acting career.
“Now, if I’m flying back and forth, like, twice in a month that’s like $200,000 or $250,000 round trip. **** that. I’m back on American Airlines right now, OK.
Laughing into the camera, he said: “Check this out, your boy Diddy right now is on American Airlines. Look.
“I want to give a shout out to all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters and all my brothers and sisters from all the countries that have oil, if you could all please send me some oil for my jet I would truly appreciate it.
“But right now, can you believe it, I am actually flying commercial. That’s how high gas prices are ok, so I feel you. Look, I’m at the gate right now.
“This is proof that gas prices are too high, we need to do something about it, so tell whoever the next president is that we need to bring gas back down.” (

I find it difficult to feel sorry for anyone who owns their own jet. I find it abominable that this jerkoff is complaing about gas prices for his jet. I find it reprehensibe that he puts it in his little vlog throwing a bitch fit at the gate to prove to us "I feel you." Don't hurt your back as you stoop so low. "This is proof that gas prices are too high", that I Poof Daddy have to fly commercial with the pee on's. Makes me sick....
"I want to give shout out to all my brothers and sisters from all the countries that have oil please send me oil for my jet." I mean, he is really under the impression that he is incredibly cool and witty but he doesn't realize that he is making me ga-vomit right now. (Gagging and vomiting at the same time.)

My Trunk

The trunk of my car speaks volumes about who I am. In it I have,
1- Combat never know

2- Star Wars Trivial Pursuit...because one day we are going to play

3- Samurai swords from our Halloween costumes from like 4 years ago when we were the Crazy 88's

4- Books from the Fall Semester....last year.

I Hate...

The fact that I have been up since 3am

People I work with that I believe have an IQ of 73

That I found a bug crawling around in my gym bag. What the hell are you doing in there? I don't even feel like working out today.

That my face is so shiny in pictures

How much I love carbs

Movies like Disaster Movie. What happened to Carmen Electra that she thinks this is a good idea?

That I missed My So Called Life when it was on TV. I am forced to watch it on Youtube.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Deep Thoughts by Kate Moss

“I was never anorexic, so I was never that skinny,” she tells September’s Interview. “I was never bony-bony. But I remember thinking, ‘I don’t want to be this skinny.’” She says when she was “doing shows and flying economy … nobody ever fed me." (

She's telling the truth. She wasn't anorexic....she was a drug addict.
She was never "bony bony"? She is what made that look popular. That walking dead, heroine chic look. Before that models had boobs.
And what does she mean "nobody ever fed me"? Just because you weigh as much as an infant does not mean that someone has to literally feed you. Did she not understand the concept of food by the time she was 19? That is an unclassified eating disorder.

Ixnay on the Hitler/Ghandi Comparisons

Amid a four-act show at Cardiff’s packed Millennium Stadium, a video interlude carried images of destruction, global warming, Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler, Zimbabwe’s authoritarian President Robert Mugabe — and U.S. Senator John McCain. Another sequence, shown later, pictured slain Beatle John Lennon, followed by climate activist Al Gore, Mahatma Gandhi and finally McCain’s Democratic rival Barack Obama. (

Shhhh. No. You are pretty much not allowed to compare anyone to Hitler. Unless they are trying to create a world of super humans by exterminating everyone else on the planet. You are also not allowed to compare anyone to Gandhi. Unless they are a peaceful leader who puts his life in peril by starving himself to prove a point to their oppressive government. I love you Madge, but whatever your political affiliations sing "Where's The Party" and do what you do best, be Madonna. That is like when everyone was saying "Oh Britney is the next Madonna!' Look at what happened when people expect too much.

S. Jo

"How does it feel to be considered a sex symbol? It’s really nice when people, especially ones I don’t even know, come up to tell me that I’m sexy. It makes me feel really nice and cheerful. I would imagine everyone would react this way." (

That's pretty much how I react when strangers come up to me and tell me I'm sexy. Actually no. My reaction is pretty much terror, spray stalker in eyes with mace and run like hell.


Reception. To receive warmly in a businesslike manner. That is my job. Sitting, looking pretty, being kind to those who walk through these doors, elevators whatever. The monotony is staggering. If I hear one more time from that guy in Office Services tell me "u already pretty baby" when he catches me reapplying lipstick I think I will scream. If that temp (that has been here for three years) says "over the river and through the woods" as he is leaving one more time....I am going to lose it. If I have one more rude person call this desk asking me who I am and who called them.... the answer is going to go from "I'm sorry. We have about 75 people working here and unless you give me someone's name I really can't help you." " Jesus Fuckin’ Christ, if it was an emergency they would have left your ass a message with their fucking name on it and I wouldn't need to be running down a list of all the people you know that may have worked in some type of office setting!" Now for the delivery people, messengers, lowlifes that are entitled entrance to this building because you have a pizza, package, sandwich, envelope listen to me now. If there are chairs, those are for you to sit in while the person whose name is on that ticket comes out to bring their money or package. Hovering over my desk, reading my emails, or just because you feel like looking at me is not going to make them move any faster or my job any more pleasant , please sit your ass down. If you are waiting to pick up a package from said person, staring at me is not going to make it fly out of my forehead.

Friday, August 22, 2008

David Blaine Is The Devil

Daredevil DAVID BLAINE is preparing for a dizzying new stunt - he will hang upside down above New York’s Central Park for three days and two nights.
The illusionist will be deprived of food as he is suspended six storeys up on a highwire for his Dive of Death, which will be filmed to air on U.S. TV on 24 September (08).
He will even be forced to sleep upside down.
And members of the public will be invited to interract with the 35 year old. (

How does this guy make money? Is he a professional loiterer, hobo what? I don't see the "magic" in what he does. You and Mindfreak Cris Angel....what the hell is going on? I think there is some selling your soul to the devil type shit going on here. You guys should get together and do Vegas. I would enjoy your "art" much more if you were taming a robotic dragon while you are trying to freak me out with your street leviation and such.
FYI- Roy used to ride the robotic dragon in the show before "the incident." Now that was magic!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Better Than Heroin Hero I Guess

Meet 16-year-old Blake Peebles. He quit high school to pursue his dreams of becoming a professional Guitar Hero player. Yes, the video game. Yes, he wants to make a career out of pushing shiny, plastic buttons. No, Blake doesn't know how to play a real guitar. (

I confess, I enjoy playing Guitar Hero more than someone my age should. But, I cannot imagine back in my Frogger playing days that my mom would have let me quit school to go on to become a professional Fogger player no matter how lucrative this may have seemed at the time. A fad is a fad, a game is a game, a diploma is well a piece of paper but an important piece of paper.

Kiss My Converse!!

Somebody better find Leroy Green! The shogun of Harlem, Sho'Nuff has passed away.TMZ's very favorite cult villain of all time, Julius Carry III, died last night. Details of his death are very limited as of right now. It was first reported by Carry was 56. (

Anyone remember that flick that was the adventure "The Last Dragon"? Starring Vanity and um....that kid with the overly moist Michael Jackson hair? Soundtrack included El' know "to the beat of the rhythm of the night!"? No? Well, the bad guy from that movie died.
Sigh....jokes totally lost on an entire generation.

Deep Thoughts by Heidi...Montag? Is that her name?

"A lot of miracles have happened in my life to take me here, and to me, the reason why we’re all on this earth is for God, and that’s the way I live my life. (

You can say that again. I don't even know how this girl ends up in her house at the end of the day, so now I know. It is a miracle. Oh and hot pants, hot pants and plastic surgery "got her here."

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Don't Be Hatin...

Robert Downey Jr (Iron Man) on Batman...
"My whole thing is that that I saw 'The Dark Knight'. I feel like I'm dumb because I feel like I don't get how many things that are so smart. It's like a Ferrari engine of storytelling and script writing and I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.' I loved 'The Prestige' but didn't understand 'The Dark Knight'. Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character and in the end they need him to be a bad guy. I'm like, 'I get it. This is so high brow and so f–king smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie.' You know what? F-ck DC comics. That's all I have to say and that's where I'm really coming from."
I don't know where this angry tirade came from. It is a comic book movie. You flew in your movie too with a suit you made yourself, you are both self loathing billionares. I just don't understand the animosity. It is a comic book character. Children will be dressing up like both Iron Man and Batman this Halloween. Your movie was good too Robert, don't cry.


Cats, dogs, pollen, and conceit. Seriously, it doesn't matter if it is in celluloid or right in front of me. I have had violent sneezing attacks about four times this week whenever there was the slightest hint of arrogance near me. It went something like "oh I'm too handsome for that shit"...violent sneezing fit. It was in gest, but I am allergic nonethless. Then I watched Michael Douglas in Romancing The Stone...violent sneezing fit. This cannot be a coincidence.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Madge's Bday

Madonna has it on very high authority that she is, in fact, 36.
Not only that, but the grand lady of pop has slapped a gagging order on anyone whispering the number… shhh… 50 at her star-studded celebrations tomorrow.
Guests at her country pile are under strict instructions not to give any cards, cakes or presents bearing the number 50 or face the wrath of the muscle-bound Material Girl.
But how could we have got it so wrong?
Well, using ancient techniques known only to a select few, the high priests of Kabbalah have calculated her spiritual age by channelling the energy of the poptastic one. And it’s, um, 36.
How convenient.
So does that mean that in 1994 she was actually 22? (

If you reallllllly think about it, she should be 107 not 36. She has had reincarnated her career several times. Changed her look, her sound, her disposition, her overall aura about 347 times so her soul should be at least over 100.
My soul would be about 7. I haven't changed all that much. I haven't gone from legwarmers and back again yet.

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Being the door whore at my job I receive packages here at reception. Most of the time they work related, sometimes personal packages for my fellow employees. Personal packages range from Victorias' Secret, to plain old Target packages.
Yesterday a fellow employee, who shall remain nameless, received a package from Spanx. You ladies have heard of Spanx right? It is basically a girdle with a sexy name. Being that they are a girdle and are supposed to suck in your gutt, butt, whatever problem area you may have, there should be some discretion involved when shipping their product. Well, Spanx knows that, so why would they mail their packages with a big ol' sticker pink sticker that says "THANKS FOR ORDERING FROM SPANX!" with the logo on a plain brown box? It is not the smartest marketing ploy. Also, if someone who is not aware of what a Spanx is, they may see that sticker and believe it to be a much naughtier product than it already is. My beloved calls them what they are....LIES!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

My Job

I am what you would consider the "door whore" of my job. I am a receptionist for a good portion of my day. It entails greeting clients, signing for packages, ordering food and looking pretty. I can do all those things in a decent fashion.
Recently they installed a security system that locks all the doors that enter the office areas. All the doors around me. Is reception locked? No. Anyone can come up that elevator and basically take a dump in the waiting room area which has a lovely view of the city. What is it that they think is going to happen in my work space that all the doors have to be locked in my perimeter to protect the employees? I again have no protection. Oh, I have a security button under my desk which buzzes NY. I am in Miami.

Again, eww

An excerpt from another revealing/disgusting interview with Diddy with New York Magazine:
So what if there were a new Olympic sport, something he himself might have a chance of winning, we asked. What would that be? “Who could have sex the longest,” he told us in a soft voice and with a straight face, while looking into our eyes. Was that a pick-up line? We weren’t sure, but we tingled anyway. “I think that’s an event I can do well in. And probably who could stay up the longest.” Dirty!
“Just so you know, that’s supposed to be funny,” he added as an afterthought. “Even though I am serious.” But who would be his competitors? “Whoever’s up for the challenge.” You heard him, folks! Any sex athletes out there willing to challenge the Diddy? (

If I had to make a list of revolting things Diddy has collectively said over the years it would be a very long, long, loooong list. I always thought that with age came wisdom, this adage obviously does not apply to this delusional bastard.
Boasting about your sexual prowess convinces me of nothing except that once again you are trying desperately trying to remind us of your greatness. BTW, just because you can stay hard and have jack rabbit sex (pound, pound, pound, pound) does not make you great in bed. One of the seven mothers of your children could have told you that.

Amen Sister....

Sexy R&B star CASSIE had her nipples pierced to help her keep breast cancer at bay. The pretty 22 year old’s mother is a two-time breast cancer survivor and the singer was recently tested to make sure she was free of the disease. After the check-up, Cassie had her nipples pierced in a bid to show cancer she was a fighter. She says, “I got my piercings before I got my results, like positive energy… I think it’s sexy. I’m proud of them.” But she admits the decision to get pierced would have backfired on her if medics found the cancer gene. Cassie adds, “I’m sitting there with my parents, my mom’s sobbing after she finds out that I don’t have the gene, and I’m like, `Guess what, mom and dad, I got my nipples pierced.’ “It was nerve-racking because I was like, `My mom’s going to kill me if I have this gene and I got these things.’” (

Way to fight the cause sister! I am going to have my uterus pierced in celebration of my last papsmear which came back free and clear.
BTW I heard that the whole scrotum piercing phenomenon was in support of Lance Armstrong and his corageous fight with testicular cancer.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Has Anyone Noticed?

Michael Phelps has a striking resemblance to the Manning Brothers?

Dream Job

Comedian. Hands Down. I personally could never stand in front of a group of people and come across as charming as I think I am so I have the utmost respect for the "art" of comedy. Yeah guitar players get a lot of tail, but the idea that I can make a whole room of people laugh at the same thing at the same time is better than the intro to Smells Like Teen Spirit. Okay, maybe not to you.


The highly anticipated book by Britney Spears’ mother is set to hit store shelves next month.
Lynne Spears’ Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, a memoir about her “backseat role in Britney’s path to fame,” will go on sale on Sept. 16.

I think when you see books like this written by what might as well be a "pageant mom" next to Madonna's brothers' book on the top ten best sellers list, somewhere the ghost of Emily Bronte' is weeping.


Gerri Halliwell gives an interview in Hello ragazine and she says...
What is your diet and exercise regime?“I walk and I do yoga, but not the strenuous, hardcore Ashtanga style. Often, I just breathe and sit in one position for ages. It’s for relaxation. The most vigorous exercise I do is running around after Bluebell! (

I remember Gerri from her Ginger Spice zig a zig ah days and the book she is trying to sell me right now called "I Don't Exercise Or Diet At All", yeah I'm not buyin' it.

Monday, August 11, 2008

What Is It??

I don't feel like writing anything deep, not to say that the stuff I write about Hollywood is deep in any way, but that is neither here nor there. I just wanted to say that I have observed a ritual amongst women/girls everywhere of this constant lip gloss application. In bathrooms, at the bar right after they took a sip of something, just standing around, I see the familiar tube of shiny shit getting pulled out and being spread all over their already glossy lips. This shit is sticky as hell, if the slightest wind gets in your hair, your hair is stuck to your lip. It never comes in a flattering color and the constant application just makes it so shiny/shimmery. One does want a hint of color but when did shiny lips become attractive? Watch, next time a camera at the club comes out just watch the bevy of bitches pull out thier little tube. It's like magic!

Sunday, August 10, 2008 Chef?

Comedian Bernie Mack died yesterday in a hospital after a week long fight of pneumonia at the age of 50.

Isaac Hayes, singer, actor, voice of the coolest chef on the planet died this morning at the age of 65.


Really, all joking aside. This has been a very sad weekend. The world is just a little less funnier and a little less Shafti-er.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008


I wish more women in Hollywood would eat. Or at least admit that they don't eat so the standards in beauty would not be so rediculous

I wish this whole extension, false eyelashes, fakeboobs, fake tan, fake teeth would go away

I wish Hollywood would for one minute take a look at my friends in their 30's without a shred of makeup and see that yeah this is what 30's look like, natural and beautiful

I wish (sometimes) I had my own theme music. Mine would be outstanding by the Gap band

I wish I were not so cynical (sometimes)

I wish it was Friday

I wish it was not so humid....the day looks really nice from in here but it's too damn hot

I wish I could focus on one thing at a time long enough to accomplish it

I wish people were not as stupid as I know they are (me being cynical)

Baby News!!!

Jenna Jameson is rumored to be pregnant with boyfriend Tito Ortiz.
"She had a bunch of meetings and things planned for Fashion Week, including meetings for her own line, but she's postponed everything," said our source. "She's completely thrilled, this is something she's wanted for a very long time." Jameson miscarried during her marriage to Jay Grdina, whom she divorced in 2006. She also once failed with in vitro. (

AWWWW!!!! Good for Tito and Jenna! God knows she has has plenty of practice and Tito has the IQ of an infant so this is going to be a great adventure for the both of them. I could make a million jokes, like "let's hope between all the silicone and steroids this kid doesn't have webbed feet", or "let's hope she has mommy's gift to put her whole fist in her mouth or he has daddy's gift of putting his fist through anything", but really I am just happy for them.
PS- I hope her new vagina can take the pounding of giving birth....sorry had to say it.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Pete Wentz As A Daddy

As for wise words from his father, Wentz says, “The best advice my dad has given me was, go with your gut. And he said you can’t really have expectations. If I have expectations that he’s going to be a rock star, I’m sure he’ll come out being into sports, and if I have expectations that he’ll be into sports then he’ll be into math or something.” (

Math? Really? Between your genes and wifey's genes you think your spawn will like math? Hmm, interesting.
Sports? Really? You wear eyeliner and argue with your wife over the hair iron and you say your child will be into sports? Hmm, interesting.
That is like Angie and Brad saying "our children are not going to be the least bit attractive."

Lindsay's Getting En-gaged

“I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Michael. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.” (

Sir, your daughter has daddy issues which equal man issues which is why she is in this"relationship" at the moment. Considering that your "Christain faith" was selfishly set aside most of your daughters' life for you to be involved in the gluttony that has made you the poster boy for "soul sucking sperm donor" you would be best advised to zip it. You are a divorced, recovering drug addict and alcoholic and really not at liberty to give advice.Besides you will probably will not be invited because at weddings there is usually a free bar involved and there is no way you can join that conga line.
PS- Nobody likes you. Please go away.


You can bet a Jacksonville, Florida man wishes he had just paid the five-bucks for a foot long at Subway.
Instead, he was charged with making a false 911 call.
Reginald Peterson ordered a Spicy Italian Sub with the works.
Sandwich artists put mayo on mustard on it, but no sauce. That put Peterson over the edge and he called 911 to complain.
He called a second time to complain officers weren't arriving fast enough.
Subway workers told police the 42-year-old became belligerent and yelled when they were fixing his order.
They locked him out of the store when he left to call police.
When officers arrived, they tried to calm Peterson and explain the proper use of 911. Those efforts failed, and he was arrested on a charge of making false 911 calls. (

I just went to Subway and picked up a sandwich myself. Turkey for me. The"sandwich artists" made no mistakes with my order.
The only thing they are guilty of is charging $9.93 for a steak and cheese foot long sub. $10 for a crappy steak and cheese at Subway? That's crap.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Uh Doy...

Social worker: Anthrax suspect was 'homicidal'. Government researcher apparently killed himself as prosecutors closed in. (MSNBC.COM)

This is the title of the article written on MSNBC.COM.
This is the title they chose about the craaaazy bastard that mailed the poisonous substance Anthrax back in 2001 that killed five people. The best thing they can say is he was "homicidal"? Well yeah he was homicidal, that goes without saying. He was actively involved in research for an anthrax vaccine so he knew that mailing it would conclude in certain death. Couldn't they say something like "cross dressing homicidal maniac", or "looney tunes McGee mailed shit to kill you".

Holy Mind Reading Batman!

Hollywood insiders tell The Enquirer that the screen hero who made kooky Captain Jack Spaarow famous in the “Priates of the Caribbean” trilogy has the inside track to play the green-garbed super-villian famous for his “Riddle me this” dialogue.(

With the tragic death of Heath Ledger I said the only person who could fill The Joker's shoes without damaging the character Ledger created would be Johnny Depp. But this is even better!
Johnny Depp and Christian Bale in one movie....can't handle it...too much talent and beauty at the same time...growing weak.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Will Balthazar Getty's inability to keep his mitts off Sienna Miller's mammaries cost him his marriage? That's the word from, which claims the "Brothers & Sisters" actor has been "desperately" attempting -- so far unsuccessfully -- to make amends with his estranged wife, Rosetta, with whom he has four children, including a 9-month-old daughter.

Seems his supposed contrition over his camera-captured Italian grope-fest with the semifamous starlet has been met with an ice-cold shoulder, even though he's reportedly sent a "flurry" of warm–and-fuzzy e-mails professing his devotion and made repeated phone calls.

The missives are said to contain such standard sentiments as "I love you" and "I miss you," along with a hint about how he'd like to "move back into the house." (

I'm so glad had fun on your summer vacation! I heard you made a lot of new friends and I am happy to know that you enjoyed yourself to the fullest. The view from your balcony(with topless blonde), the waterfalls, (as your hands groped topless blondes toplessness) and the boat rides (while your tounge was shoved down topless blondes tonsils).
Now, if you think I am taking you back you must have some type of heat stroke due to not paying attention to the time you spent in the sun because you were mesmerized by the awesome boobage that is Sienna Miller.
No, you can't come home. Actually hell no.
But of course you can see all four of your children as I will be spending the fall and winter in Aspen with a ski instructor by the name of Sven who will keep me warm simply by the girth of his penis as I have decided to go topless during my entire vacation just like your new friend did.
PS- the only way I will take you back is if you change your name. Last name Balthazar because then I will be Mrs. Balthazar and who doesn't want that. You will change your first name "The Mother of My Children's Biatch For Life" Balthazar.
PPS- yeah girth fucker.
Hopefully a woman that knows the power of leverage

I Wonder....

Is Mickey Mouse's name Michael?

Special Bday for Tommy!

When you're dating Gisele Bundchen, pretty much every day is your birthday, but the Brazilian supermodel supposedly plans to make boyfriend Tom Brady's big 3-1 next week extra memorable. OK! claims she's contacted several photographer friends about shooting her in 12 different poses, which she'll combine into a personal calendar for the New England Patriots quarterback. "She's got some racy lingerie shots, a birthday cake shot for August, and the expected picture of her in kneesocks and his jersey!" says a "pal." "He's going to love it!" (

Hmm, that's so unusual. Gisele Bundchen? Posing in racy lingerie? I mean, really how lucky is Tom Brady that he gets such an original gift from his camera shy girlfriend? Oh shit, look I have that exact same calendar right here. It is from the Victoria Secret catalogues they have been force feeding me at least three times a week since I bought a pair of shoes two years ago.
We have all seen your poses G, how bout you learn the game of football and get him a beer?