Friday, October 30, 2009


George Clooney and his girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis have love on the menu as they share a passionate kiss Thursday in Italy. (

I don't know what it is, but I have this sneaking suspicion that George Clooney is gay. I think it is because he reminds me so much of Rock Hudson. Devastatingly handsome, well dressed, well groomed, talented, filthy rich and an all around good guy. You never hear anything but amazing things about this man. The only thing you ever hear which is not a bad thing is "he never wants to get married, he has never found the right woman." Then you see him with the random insanely hot babe that screams rent-a ho in strategically taken red carpet events, or pictures like the one above. But, only for a few months because he is emotionally unavailable. Because you know this Playboy will just never slow down.

While Jesus has said that Madonna is “a friend who is my life…she’s wonderful, and full of positive energy,” Jesus also knows that Madge can be cruel.
“She doesn’t treat him with respect,” a friend says. “She talks to him like an errand boy, like he’s stupid and has nothing to say. Madonna makes it clear that he’s nothing but a pretty face. She treats him like a sex object.”

Doesn't that shit just make you laugh?" Madonna's treating me like a sex object! Waaaah!" Stop your crying little boy, this is Madonna we are talking about. What did you think? That you were going to be treated with respect? As an equal? You are lucky she doesn't make you wear that Boy Toy belt she wore on the album cover of Like a Virgin. Oh you don't know that album? Oh you don't know what an album is? Oh you weren't born yet? I see.
You are 23, hot and hung. Enjoy it while you can.

Guys Crave Man Caves

There is a great story in The Enquirer about male celebrities and their "Man Caves."
 It’s all about how some big male celebrities are getting in touch with their inner dude and installing special “man cave” areas in their homes. The celebrities listed as “fans of the man cave” are Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and Nicolas Cage A man cave is described as “a private area in the home, where a guy and his buddies can gather” (
Johnny Depp keeps guitars in his St. Tropez man cave, alongside several cases of wine from his vineyard.

Hey Johnny, I've got a man cave for you....
Sorry that man just makes me crazy!
But isn't that just the way? All this time I am thinking man caves are seedy titty bars and Johnny Depp has guitars and wine. 
From his own vineyard. 
So he can seduce me 
Damn it! Stop it Johnny! Stop looking at me like that!

What Problems Could This Little Girl Possibly Cause

Abigail Breslin, from the movies Signs, Little Miss Sunshine and Zombieland was chosen to play Hellen Kelller in a Broadway adaptation of her life. Despite being blind, deaf and mute Helen Keller became an advocate for people with such setbacks. So what could the uproar possibly be about?

“We do not think it’s O.K. for reputable producers to cast this lead role without seriously considering an actress from our community,” said Sharon Jensen, executive director of the Alliance for Inclusion in the Arts, to the New York Times. “I understand how difficult it is to capitalize a new production on Broadway, but that to me is not the issue. There are other, larger human and artistic issues at stake here.” (

It's a Broadway play where the main character does not say a word. How could you be angry about this? She is a great actress, not just for her age because she blows actresses twice her age out of the water. Who is going to see a Broadway production where there is no singing and dancing? There can't possibly be singing and dancing! Get the sand out of your vagina.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

You Just Won 4 Tickets To The Gun Show!

Yes, that is "The Silver Fox" Anderson Cooper on a bike while he is traveling in India. Every time I see him in anything but a suit I am reminded that silver or not that man is a fox.
Oh and that guy next to him is supposedly his special man friend. Cooper has good taste in boy toys.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Why Facebook Is Awesome

You can find lost friends anywhere, like this one...

The caption of the picture reads: Jesus is knocking at your door. Will you answer and let Him in or will you ignore Him???
Really? Jesus is knocking on my door? Did I suddenly move to the outskirts of Sicily circa 1901? Those cobblestone streets and heavy wooden door certainly elude to that little tidbit of geography and time travel.
 Is he playing ding dong ditch? Because then I am down.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Chris Brown's Back....Right On MTV

MTV gave a preview for Chris "Everybody Is Being So Mean To Me" Brown's new single " I Can Transform Ya." 
Let the obvious jokes begin:
I can transform ya' from a beautiful girl into a bloody pulpof a mess
I can transform myself into a dancin', actin', singing machine into a pariah of society
I can transform ya' from my loyal girlfriend into a woman distrustful of relationships and every man on earth.
I can transform everyone's view of myself from a sweet talented kid the douche of the century

I don't give a damn what this song is like. I don't care if he makes fire come out of the soles of his shoes for this damn video dancing for his money. I hope the fact that he is a piece of crap is something that cannot be transformed.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Michael's Ghost

La Toya said, “When I go to his house I say, ‘Hello, Michael. How are you? If you’re here, please, please let me know’. And the lights start blinking. I can feel him. I can smell his Tom Ford cologne and I’ve felt him brush past me. I tell him I love him so much and ask him to show me he’s here again. The lights blink again. I know he’s there, answering me and knowing he’s watching me is a huge comfort. I never believed that people could speak, hear and communicate in that sense. But I’ve witnessed it several times now and I want to investigate it further. I am certainly open-minded to speaking to a medium. No other members of the family have experienced it. Just me.” (
I put this picture of La Toya so you can see how different she looked before her many, many, many surgeries. I also put it so you can use it as a reference and point to her and say, "that bitch is crazy!" Everybody and that means you too La Toya, needs to leave Michael alone already. Between the movie, the radio retrospects, the people trying to take what ever money he had away from his kids, the BET Awards, the MTV Awards and my own Tribute CD that has been in the number one slot since his death this summer. We need to leave him be. You smell his Tom Ford cologne? Get the fuck outta' here.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Why Facebook Is Awesome

Little Nuggets of Wisdom such as this

How we r like God's pumpkins... He picks u from the patch, brings you in, & washes all the dirt off of u.  Then He cuts off the top & scoops out all the yucky stuff.He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, & greed.   Then He carves u a new smiling face & puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see!

Isn't that just the sweetest thing? The thing is that this person truly means it. If only I could be that optimistic. I feel the same way Linus feels about pumpkins when he first carves one in the movie The Great Pumpkin. He goes into the pumpkin patch with Lucy. She  picks out the biggest one she can find and makes him carry it all the way home. Linus places it gently on the newspapers Lucy has placed down and watches in horror as Lucy takes a giant kitchen knife and stabs it. His little bewildered face says it allHe screams, "I didn't know you were going to kill it!" 

So I believe God is stabbing us. Happy Fucking Halloween.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Oh sweety you're just confused!

Because yeah, I am gay, but I like kissing women sometimes. Women are pretty. It doesn’t mean I’m necessarily sleeping with them. Of course, had I been the one drinking the cocktails,” he adds, “I probably would have made out with her.” ( 

Can you imagine a super stud like Clive Owen saying "yeah I am straight I just enjoy kissing men and touching their penises." Everybody would be like GAYY!!  So I am calling Adam lambert out and saying STRAIGHTTTT!!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Most Perfect Thing I have Ever Read

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: “I realize I’m stating the obvious here, but it bears elucidation in light of this review because it’s the single biggest driving force behind Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Michael Bay has a profoundly tiny dick. The man has a diminutive dangler — what’s known in medical circles as a micro-penis (less than 2.75 inches erect). And rather than seek psychotherapy for his small penis humiliation, Mr. Bay deals with his itty-bitty anxieties by hiding behind his work. It’s classic overcompensation; all the symptoms are manifested in his person — long hair, leather jackets, sports cars — but none more evident than his pursuit of aggrandizement in Revenge of the Fallen. His desire to embiggen Transformers II over its predecessor — to make bigger in power, to enlarge our conceptions — is clearly an attempt to conceal his sexual inadequacy.”

I don't know who this girl is, but she is a genius. I highly advise you check out her page.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Nicolas Cage, what were you thinking??

Nicolas Cage sued his former business manager for $20 million on Friday, claiming bad advice and mismanagement led him toward financial ruin.
“Instead of protecting and preserving Cage’s wealth during one of the greatest economic periods in the country’s history, Levin placed Cage in numerous highly speculative and risky real estate investments, resulting  in Cage suffering catastrophic losses,” the lawsuit states. 

Cage, 45, relied on Levin’s statements and advice and couldn’t have known about the financial trouble he was facing until after he hired new management, according to the lawsuit. (

Please read that last part again. He would not have known about the financial trouble he was facing until after he hired new management? Really? You have been acting for over 20 years. You have been in every summer blockbuster since the mid 90's and you have no idea what shape you finances are in? You need somebody to remind you to pay your taxes from 2003-2007? Is that your story? I have asked this before and I will ask it again. What is it with the rich people not paying their taxes? 

Gobble Gobble Bitches

Thanksgiving may be weeks away, but Ginnifer Goodwin thinks it’s time to talk turkey. The star of HBO’s Big Love is urging the public to skip the savory poultry this holiday season and adopt a turkey instead.
Goodwin - who went vegan last year - has teamed up with Farm Sanctuary to launch the animal protection organization’s Adopt-A-Turkey Project, which is designed to rescue commercially-raised birds from ending up on the dinner table.

“After spending time with the rescued turkeys at Farm Sanctuary’s shelter and seeing how similar they are to my furry companion animals at home, I knew I needed to do everything in my power to protect these friendly and curious birds from the daily pain and suffering they endure on factory farms,” says Goodwin (

Ummmm, no. I appreciate you are vegan and you think turkeys are like dogs but I am going to disagree with you and say no. I am going to eat my turkey on Thanksgiving. I am going to eat roasted pig on Christmas. Tonight I am having steak for dinner. Please don't go into "there are so many alternatives to meat these days." They don't even beging to come close. If that is what you want to do great, just don't be at my house that day if you don't want to be offended.

Ballon Boy

Three days after the nation watched the televised image of a silver flying saucer-shaped balloon traveling across the Colorado sky, it turns out the saga of the balloon boy may have been all hot air.
“It has been determined this was a hoax. It was a publicity stunt,” Larimer County, Colo., Sheriff Jim Alderden told reporters Sunday. He said no arrests will be made until the investigation is complete.(

These parents should just die. A parents worst nightmare should be that you child suffers a very frightening thing like this and subsequently dies. It is only multiplied by 100 to think that it was over some stupid hobby of yours. To think they "pretended" their 6 year old was dead in order for them to get some sort of publicity for a reality show is sickening. They told their son to lie in front of millions of people with no care whatsoever what kind of an effect this could have on him, on his future. This kid is going to be in high school and under his senior picture it will say Balloon Boy. Now instead of getting a show, they will get what they deserve. People scrutinizing their parenting and their loose morals when faking that their child in danger.

Friday, October 16, 2009


You see this? This is me opening a gift for my nephew's 4th bday. My very impatient nephew. My very impatient 4 year old nephew that was very excited for his Handy Manny toy until he saw this was going to take me about 45 minutes to get out of his prison. I don't know if toys were so difficult to get into when I was a child but seriously this is China's way of getting back at the United States. I don't know for what, but this is a punishment brought on to us for our descendants.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Playboy"s Standards Have Gone Down

Tara Reid made news last week when she stripped down (“ALL THE WAY” down according to Fox News and their caps lock key) for Playboys December issue. (

Is that her ass? That thing that is resting on her hamstring on her scrawny little body? Really? This bitch is going to be in Playboy? This nasty skank of an excuse for a female is going to grace the pages of Playboy? Hef must really be losing his sight. If she looks halfway decent then women everywhere can ease a sigh of relief because we will have proof that these idiot stick figures are being photo shopped within an inch of their lives. For real? Tara Reid? 

Friday, October 9, 2009

LIke Whoa... I never say that I swear. This calls for it.

Ok ladies he is only 17 years old so slow down. Having said that, GOD DAMN JACOB YOU BE LOOKIN FINE!! Sorry, getting it together. Just paying this beautiful boy a compliment. This beautiful jovial young man with the beautiful smile, gorgeous skin and perfectly sculpted biceps. God bless you kid!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The Puppy Killer

Michael Vick’s return to the NFL on Sept. 27 wasn’t exactly the storybook finish to a redemption story, but the media storm around his first game with the Philadelphia Eagles was enough to suggest people are still interested in the convicted dog fighter.
And so it is that BET (Black Entertainment Television) will air an eight-part “docu-series” on Vick’s post-prison life. (
I must be seeing things. This can't really be happening. Any day now I am going to wake up and the puppy killer is not going to be the starting quarterback for the Eagles right? I am not seeing that he is going to have a television show on BET. No? It  is real? This is really happening? Well don't we live in a world of no scrupulous world!  He is a criminal, a criminal! I ain't no hippy, I don't even have a dog but I really never thought he would ever even play ball again. BET, seriously there are plenty of fools in television already. Have some dignity.

Has She Ever Heard Radio???

Hip hop mogul Russell Simmons locks lips with his model/girlfriend, Julie Henderson, on Miami Beach on Tuesday,October 8. (

Well Russel you scored another model. Cograts on these ladies loving you for who you are and that's all.... LLLLOOOODDDEEEAAADDD! Loaded, yes. I wonder if the fetus has ever seen Krush Groove. I always thought you had a whole lotta nerve having Blair Underwood play you. 

My Review of JLo's New Song. In a nutshell it's crap

In August, Lopez told In Style Magazine that she wouldn’t release new music unless she felt that it was authentic. “I’m at a point in my life when I just don’t feel the need to put out anything unless I totally, absolutely feel it says what I want to say.”  So I gave it a listen because I love me some JLo and I have to say damn this sucks. It is called Fresh Out The Oven, which I thought eluded to her twins. I was wrong “Love, fresh out the oven, straight sugar lovin,” and “you say you want the cookie, you’ve gotta wait for the cookie.” Really? this is what you have been waiting to say? Even for you this is crap and you have had lyrics that have said "When I opened up my eyes today felt the sun shining on my face..." I put this picture of her because she looks very pretty. Isn't she pretty everyone?

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

See? It's Not Only Me That Loves Barry

R.E.M. star Michael Stipe and Barry Manilow are to team up for the year's most unlikely pop/rock pairing.

Stipe and his Single Cell production partner Sandy Stern have snapped up the rights for a new romantic comedy which centres around a Manilow concert in Las Vegas. (

Oh this is just spectacular! Who would have thought Michael Stipe and are are both Fanilows! I am all a flutter. Shut up, I am! Why does everybody laugh when I say that??

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Oooooh a threesome! How original!

EW’s Michael Ausiello is reporting that the Nov. 9 episode of Gossip Girl will feature “three major characters having sex. At the same time. In the same bed. Together.” (

This is another stupid ass show I don't watch but from what I have seen of this cast of characters I think it is going to be three of the male cast members. They are all obviously gay on the show and in real life. I am not sure who the top would be with all that hair gel and ascots. 

Monday, October 5, 2009

But What About The Children??

Jon violated an arbitrator’s rules and pulled hundreds of thousands of dollars out of his joint account with Kate, leaving her with only $1,000, investigation uncovered. He withdrew several hundred thousand dollars from his joint bank account with Kate without her knowledge. has confirmed with multiple sources that Kate routinely pays the family bills from that bank account. (

I really don't like either of these people. I feel bad for their kids that are definitely going to need that money for therapy someday. I have run out of ways to call their father a douche so I will just say anyone who leaves their family of eight children with $1000 in the bank, no matter how you feel about that cunt of a woman, is not fit to breathe oxygen. So, somebody fix this problem and take him out so I can watch the movie on Lifettime.

Cash Moves Everything Around Me...

cream get the money, dolla' dolla' bill ya'll. Sorry, I had to get that out of the way. On to the news.

Grammy-winning rapper Method Man was arrested Monday and charged with tax evasion for failing to pay $32,799 in New York state income taxes between 2004 and 2007, according to the New York Daily News. (

What is is about famous rich people that don't pay their taxes? Do they forget? Well, Meth might have forgotten, he usually looks confused. Do they think they are above the law? Well, Meth is part of the WU and he made that song with Mary "you're all I neeed to get by a ah!" Damn Meth! Now I have to forgive you!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Lindsay and Leggings

Sexy Lindsay Lohan poses seductively on a stripper pole in this shot to promote her line of leggings. The Hollywood starlet goes blonde and shows off plenty of leg in a ripped pair of leggings from her 6126 range, named after Marilyn Monroe's birth date. The label describes itself as "a lifestyle brand of feminine power and grace". (
In this classy shot she is also wearing a yellow chetah spotted leotard. I don't know about you, but when I think about grace I think Lindsay Lohan. Nothing screams feminine power like sliding on a stripper pole in a hooker outfit and bleach blonde hair. Slut.

Friday, October 2, 2009

News of the Weird

New research suggests that children who eat too much candy and chocolate may be more likely to be arrested for violent crimes as adults.
A 1970 British Cohort Study of 17,500 participants has found that 10-year-old children who ate candy on a daily basis were much more likely to be convicted of a violent crime by the age of 34 says a press release from the Royal College of Psychiatrists. (
I don't buy it. I remember eating plenty of candy as a kid. I am going to make up my own study. " We have found scientific proof that jumping rope will lead to promiscious   behavior as adult." I mean I remember jumping rope as a kid. Hmm, come to think of it maybe there is something to these studies.