Friday, August 1, 2008

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Will Balthazar Getty's inability to keep his mitts off Sienna Miller's mammaries cost him his marriage? That's the word from TMZ.com, which claims the "Brothers & Sisters" actor has been "desperately" attempting -- so far unsuccessfully -- to make amends with his estranged wife, Rosetta, with whom he has four children, including a 9-month-old daughter.

Seems his supposed contrition over his camera-captured Italian grope-fest with the semifamous starlet has been met with an ice-cold shoulder, even though he's reportedly sent a "flurry" of warm–and-fuzzy e-mails professing his devotion and made repeated phone calls.

The missives are said to contain such standard sentiments as "I love you" and "I miss you," along with a hint about how he'd like to "move back into the house." (msn.com)

Baltahazar,
I'm so glad had fun on your summer vacation! I heard you made a lot of new friends and I am happy to know that you enjoyed yourself to the fullest. The view from your balcony(with topless blonde), the waterfalls, (as your hands groped topless blondes toplessness) and the boat rides (while your tounge was shoved down topless blondes tonsils).
Now, if you think I am taking you back you must have some type of heat stroke due to not paying attention to the time you spent in the sun because you were mesmerized by the awesome boobage that is Sienna Miller.
No, you can't come home. Actually hell no.
But of course you can see all four of your children as I will be spending the fall and winter in Aspen with a ski instructor by the name of Sven who will keep me warm simply by the girth of his penis as I have decided to go topless during my entire vacation just like your new friend did.
PS- the only way I will take you back is if you change your name. Last name Balthazar because then I will be Mrs. Balthazar and who doesn't want that. You will change your first name "The Mother of My Children's Biatch For Life" Balthazar.
PPS- yeah girth fucker.
Smooches,
Hopefully a woman that knows the power of leverage

No comments: