Monday, January 5, 2009

Things I Hope Will Die A long With 2008.....

We are almost at 2010 people, some times things just need to go bye bye.

1. Fitness magazines with actresses, singers, or any TV personality. Their job is to look like that. You are not going to tell me that they do not sacrifice greatly to be that person.

2. Criss Angel and David Blaine. Well I don't want them to literally die, just their "illusions."

3. T. Pain, Lil, Wayne, Mike Jones.....basically any rapper with minimal skill, lots of bling, lots of grill, lots and lots of oh hell what's one more lots of visible tattoos and what I hate you for the most the money you have that you have and so do not deserve. Oh and pick up your damn pants. One of you literally had them starting at your knees....what happens if you need to run or walk even.

4. People that use Facebook and Myspace as a way of really opening up and letting their feelings known for allllllll to see. That is what a journal is for. Or look, do what I did get a fucking blog. There is only so much your friends and family can put up with. Facebook is not for that. It's for the pretty pictures. STFU.

5. Shows on the Discovery Channel about people who put themselves in dangerous situations with wild/predatory animals then are retelling their story like I should be surprised when things go awry. Dude, you were in the ocean taking pictures of a great white shark and it bit into your cage and GASP you were almost killed!! Look, this would be "shocking video" if you were sitting in your living room and Jaws was to saunter in and bite your ass. That would shock me.

6. Jay Leno's guys fuckin for real? Still with the Lewinsky jokes in 2009 after Bill hugged Hillary on New Years Eve? Better material please.....or any material at all that would be just peachy.

7. Stores, when you say Small can you actually mean Small. Not Small for someone who is 5'8" (God bless you those that are, this is not your fault). But I figure if ice cream shops can get it right when they say small, medium, large at this point so would you and I wouldn't have to travel to the kid's department to get a pair of pants.

8. Hot Topics. Well not really but for those of you in the know perhaps you will agree with me per se'.

9. Rock of Love, Double Shot at Love, Momma's Boys, The Bachelor. Fine the shows exist, I can deal with that because I refuse to watch them.....but do the contestants really have to cry? I mean they really cry. Like these big tough guys are crying because Tila Tequila dumped them. HER NAME IS TILA TEQUILA THIS IS BASICALLY A GAME SHOW ABOUT WHO GET TO NAIL A SLUT. You really won if you lost.


Anonymous said...

Ahh ! Fitness magazines are the worst. This month on the cover of SHAPE is a High School Musical girl. She is all but 12 and there is no muscle there just skin and bones this is NOT a SHAPE well a line is a geometric figure, but nonetheless they need to put women on the cover that have substance (muscle).

cristal said...

amen to #4...

and wtf is up with bromance?

Anonymous said...

Hysterical!!!! I love the one about the discovery are great!